One thing I cannot stand in others is a lack of etiquette. Although I was not brought up a member of the British aristocracy, I believe quite strongly in the preservation of certain social graces. Although minor issues such as the surgical use of cutlery do not concern me, I do find myself quite bereaved when certain persons decide to make known their various bodily functions in public.
Having spent a significant portion of my life in the Middle East, the sight of both men and camels hawking their lungs out in public was commonplace. Of course, the frequency of such sights does not mean that I grew accustomed to them over time. These scenes were consistently repugnant, especially where the culprit was a bearded Arab male who had vigorously chewed on tobacco in the minutes preceding the act. Some men drew more attention that others, hunching back their shoulders and breathing in deeply before unleashing a dark brown stream of filth onto the pavement. Not satisfied by the result, some would snort repeatedly in the hope of sending thick mucous careening from their sinuses into their mouth in preparation of an even more grotesque feat of repugnance.
Tissues must have been scarce on the streets of Saudi Arabia, as rarely did I see someone blowing their nose in the socially acceptable manner. Most chose instead to place a stained yellow finger (i.e. from smoking) onto one nostril, only to then bend over sharply and blow hard into the dirt. Results were mixed at best, with some succeeding in dislodging only a portion of their nasal content, the remainder clinging precariously to nostril, upper lip and finger. The subject would then swing his head from side to side, staring cross-eyed at the lengthening stream of snot that trailed from his nose. Passer-bys did not pay much attention, aside from casually crossing over to the other side of the street in the hope of avoiding a runaway booger.
Upon having finally succeeded in clearing his nasal passages, the subject would triumphantly wipe his hand on a nearby wall and then proceed on his business.
Rather thankfully, sights such as those described above are not particularly prevalent in Sydney. There’s a limit to human tolerance and mine was thoroughly tested when walking through the markets and bazaars of the Middle East. In recent years, I have not seen anything quite as grotesque as a man blowing his nose into the dirt. However, I have born witness to something infinitely more repulsive.
Some days back, I was waiting patiently for a train home at Sydney’s Central Station. Standing some 40 metres away from me was an immaculately dressed Asian woman. She appeared to be Japanese and was dressed in an expensive looking pinstriped suit that complimented her Bally briefcase. Although her features were not perfectly visible from a distance, she appeared quite striking in her understated elegance. Drawn by curiosity, I walked a little closer to her and noticed that she had her head bowed and was slowly turning on her heels. This behaviour struck me as being somewhat peculiar, and I was left utterly horrified upon learning its purpose.
The lady in question was standing in a perfect circle of phlegm. This she had chosen to deposit on the ground on her own accord, quietly hawking it up as she spun slowly on her heels. A businessman standing nearby caught me staring and glared back as if to admonish me for being a pervert. However, his chastising features soon changed when he caught a better look of what had left me frozen in horror. We both looked at one another in a quite moment of acknowledgment, knowing that from that point forth we could say ‘You don’t know the things I’ve seen’ if quizzed on a sudden mood swing by friends, family or co-workers.
What possible purpose is served by a man or woman who stands in a circle of phlegm? Perhaps it serves to ward of evil, I’ll never quite know. Whatever the truth of the matter may be, I hope that people know better than to engage in such behaviour in public.
Having spent a significant portion of my life in the Middle East, the sight of both men and camels hawking their lungs out in public was commonplace. Of course, the frequency of such sights does not mean that I grew accustomed to them over time. These scenes were consistently repugnant, especially where the culprit was a bearded Arab male who had vigorously chewed on tobacco in the minutes preceding the act. Some men drew more attention that others, hunching back their shoulders and breathing in deeply before unleashing a dark brown stream of filth onto the pavement. Not satisfied by the result, some would snort repeatedly in the hope of sending thick mucous careening from their sinuses into their mouth in preparation of an even more grotesque feat of repugnance.
Tissues must have been scarce on the streets of Saudi Arabia, as rarely did I see someone blowing their nose in the socially acceptable manner. Most chose instead to place a stained yellow finger (i.e. from smoking) onto one nostril, only to then bend over sharply and blow hard into the dirt. Results were mixed at best, with some succeeding in dislodging only a portion of their nasal content, the remainder clinging precariously to nostril, upper lip and finger. The subject would then swing his head from side to side, staring cross-eyed at the lengthening stream of snot that trailed from his nose. Passer-bys did not pay much attention, aside from casually crossing over to the other side of the street in the hope of avoiding a runaway booger.
Upon having finally succeeded in clearing his nasal passages, the subject would triumphantly wipe his hand on a nearby wall and then proceed on his business.
Rather thankfully, sights such as those described above are not particularly prevalent in Sydney. There’s a limit to human tolerance and mine was thoroughly tested when walking through the markets and bazaars of the Middle East. In recent years, I have not seen anything quite as grotesque as a man blowing his nose into the dirt. However, I have born witness to something infinitely more repulsive.
Some days back, I was waiting patiently for a train home at Sydney’s Central Station. Standing some 40 metres away from me was an immaculately dressed Asian woman. She appeared to be Japanese and was dressed in an expensive looking pinstriped suit that complimented her Bally briefcase. Although her features were not perfectly visible from a distance, she appeared quite striking in her understated elegance. Drawn by curiosity, I walked a little closer to her and noticed that she had her head bowed and was slowly turning on her heels. This behaviour struck me as being somewhat peculiar, and I was left utterly horrified upon learning its purpose.
The lady in question was standing in a perfect circle of phlegm. This she had chosen to deposit on the ground on her own accord, quietly hawking it up as she spun slowly on her heels. A businessman standing nearby caught me staring and glared back as if to admonish me for being a pervert. However, his chastising features soon changed when he caught a better look of what had left me frozen in horror. We both looked at one another in a quite moment of acknowledgment, knowing that from that point forth we could say ‘You don’t know the things I’ve seen’ if quizzed on a sudden mood swing by friends, family or co-workers.
What possible purpose is served by a man or woman who stands in a circle of phlegm? Perhaps it serves to ward of evil, I’ll never quite know. Whatever the truth of the matter may be, I hope that people know better than to engage in such behaviour in public.
2 comments:
Maybe the woman was ill, did you ever think of that? Or maybe she grew up in Saudi Arabia and became desensitized to their customs.
No really, that is fowl. And it pains me that you had to witness it.
Hahahaha - hilarious! Great post. I can tell you're a lawyer by the way that you write - and I mean that in a complimentary light.
Cheers!
Post a Comment